Wishlist 2016

Those of us with December birthdays know full well about the “slashie” gift. By that, I mean the Birthday slash Winter Holiday gift. Growing up Catholic, I would receive plenty of Birthday/Christmas gifts, all because I had the fortune of being born on the 16th.

Thankfully, my parents always made a conscious effort to separate the two celebrations, from the Dairy Queen ice cream cake to the non-holiday or seasonal wrapping paper encasing my gifts. So any “slashie” gift I’d receive would be from people who are now dead to me.*

But since my birthday and Christmas happen to be in the same month, I have still made Birthday/Christmas wishlists since I stopped shouting “I want that! I want that! I want that!” whenever a commercial for a toy I wanted appeared on TV. (Believe me, I only sounded like a spoiled brat. Never did get that battery-powered Barbie Jeep Wrangler, and look where I am today: shouting “I want that! I want that! I want that!” silently at the Internet.)

So in continuation of the soul-sucking, consumerist spirit of the holidays, below is my Birthday/Christmas Wishlist 2016.

Hugg-A-Planet Classic Political Earth

globe-pillow

The closest I’ll get to having the whole world in my hands. Now you’ve got this song stuck in your head.

Edgar Allan Poe Candle

edgar-allan-poe-candle

You never believe you’ll actually ask for a candle as a gift. But then you stroll through a stationery shop in Taipei and sniff a fancy candle inspired by the beloved weirdo who wrote “The Raven” and immediately you want to start writing and pouring glass after glass of a full-bodied red wine. However, you can’t be bothered to spend $22 on a candle that you’ll be tempted to burn through in a week.

Then you move into a small apartment in Busan that used to belong to what smells like a small family of Rottweilers and you’ll be motivated to acquire every smelly candle on Earth to get rid of the stench. And if that candle smells like absinthe and creative frustration, well – bring it on.

The Smiths Daffodils Sweater

daffodils-sweater

My wardrobe is steadily being saturated with Smiths-related items, including this gem as a ringer tee. But I noticed that I don’t have anything to express my love for The Smiths while simultaneously remaining warm in the winter. This sweater solves that problem.

Not to mention, how beautiful would that look layered with a checkered flannel button-up?

Sadly, the sweaters have been selling out rather quickly on this site.

So please, please, please let me get what I want this time.

Ancestry DNA Kit

ancestrydna-genetic-ancestry-results

I’ve always been deeply curious about my roots, wondering if there was more to me than meets the eye. Of course, I’m sure the results from this test will wind up as mostly Central and Southern European, knowing my family’s history at least three generations back. But I was also told that many people who settled in Puglia (where my great-grandparents are from) were originally from Greece or even Albania.

I also don’t know much about my paternal grandmother, who was unfortunately orphaned at a rather young age. So uncovering some clues from the cold, hard, and indisputable facts of science would be an excellent boost for finding out more about her and where her ancestors came from.

Kirk Van Houten Patch

il_570xN.1085128948_5rlq.jpgI recently bought a plain black hoodie that is simply aching for some iron-on patches. I’d love to go for a full-on Simpsons theme, but so far the only one I’ve deemed worthy (and appropriate enough for work) is the cover to Kirk Van Houten’s timeless love song.

Badly Drawn Celebs

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As you can see, I’ve got my eye on Jeff Goldblum in particular, but I’m also open to Steve Holt or Orson Welles.

Like I mentioned earlier, I’ve recently moved into a new apartment and need to decorate it to reflect my weird tastes. Some people need a rug to tie the room together. However, I would prefer a badly drawn version of The Dude** himself to do so.


*Kidding. I haven’t established a standard of sarcasm on this blog quite yet so I find it necessary to add this footnote right here.

**I don’t really want a badly drawn portrait of The Dude. I’d much rather have Goldblum, tbqh.

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